The Art of Parenting(1) - Suki Sivam
The topic that he discusses is about THE ART OF PARENTING. I have tried to make the list that he has emphasized on parenting for the benefit of our friends and families.
A family is consisted of a husband, a wife and kid(s). Its a beautiful net that is woven with lots of love. Its the behavior and nature of the parents that comes inside the family.He gives a casual instance that happened at a home." A father asks his son to get married, the son denies saying he is
not interested.When his father raises his concern to his wife, the wife says, hes watching us fighting everyday and so he has arrived to a conclusion about his marriage".
It may be a bit funny incident but it bears lots of insight when pondered upon.
1) Kids arrive at a conclusion with the incidents.
2) Kids always have their parents as their role models and imagine that their lives will be the same as that of their parents.
A serious thought that he shares in the form of a joke. A common instance that many of us have experienced, when our parents have compared our scores with our neighbor friends.Once a father was lamenting to his kid, everything is the same as it is to ur friend, the same school, the same tuition, the same facility, how is that he has scored more and you have failed, the kid replied , " but parents are different".
Everything or most of the things comes from the parents through genes. Some of the qualities and behaviors they are passed on through genes, explains genetics.
There are two ways of the qualities and behavior that are passed on to kids. One through genes, the other is through the habits of the parents, which when kid observes , they tend to adopt and follow.
Some of the kids on seeing their parents may think, they SHOULD NOT BE like this, but at the same time, its default that, many of the other kids they follow.
In order to make their kids successful every parent has to retrospect about themselves and their behaviors. 1) When we complain about our kids and their behavior has it occurred how far we are right? There is no 'specific character' that is dominant in the gene. At every particular period of time, one of the qualities in the gene dominates.Once Mahatma Gandhi was questioned, when his drunkard son was on the roads. He said, "this son of mine was born when I was an animal". "I was drinking at those times and he was born , how will be my kid then ?." That particular quality was dominant those times and now my son is like that. AFTER LOTS OF EXPERIENCING, our ancestors decided to 'register the nature, behavior before they go for the kids'.
Even a simple peon position has lots a screenings and their qualifications.A man becomes a biological father, not psychologically. The kid born to this kind of parent, how can he/she be a matured kid. An important fact he says ' becoming parent because of accidents is more than planning to be a parent'. It happens by chance and not by choice. A VERY IMPORTANT POINT TO NOTE AND THINK UPON .
He narrates an important incident from the life of Adi Sankara. Once God appeared in Sankara's parents dreams who were childless by then. God asked the Man," what kind of kid do you want?. One with short life or long life?" The man asked the reason behind it. God answered if its with short life, I will bless you with a kid of good nature, if its of long life I would bless you with a son of otherwise. The man answered something and wake up immediately. At the same time the wife who was sleeping beside him also wakes up. The man asked his wife why did she get up. She shared the same dream that the man had. She said, " how can I alone decide on what type of kid we want". I told God , " I will ask my husband and then answer him and got up immediately" Stunned was the husband as he said the same reply to God. SUCH IS THE RESPECT SHE BEARS TOWARDS HER HUSBAND, SUCH IS THE FAITH HE BEARS TOWARDS HIS WIFE. Adi sankara was born to this couple.
A kid has no gender 'preference', boy or a girl. A kid is a kid. preferring boy over a girl ( if there is) is a bad concept that has sprouted just in recent times. He says his experiences when he had his 2nd baby girl, where the taxi driver felt bad for he is having two baby girls. Any kid when that's groomed in a right way , and made as a good citizen, it is a success. Because of Indra Gandhi Nehru felt proud and because of Rajiv Gandhi, Indra Gandhi felt proud. So its not that if its a son its a pride and if its a daughter its otherwise.
He shares a joke here.Those days, every home had more kids. Once the kids went inside the bus and got their seats whichever was available.An old man asked one of the kids her name. She said its '8' and said my father named us with numbers so that he wont forget our names.The old man pointing to other kid asked whats her name. she said its '8a' as she was her twin sister.
These days, parents prefer only one kid. The trouble is, the kid don't have the knowledge or experience of sharing, being compassionate, brotherhood. Its now , the feeling of selfishness pervades, 'my toy', 'my book', 'my this', 'my that'.
In that case, we have to make our kids to mingle with other kids bringing in the sense of brotherhood, the joy of sharing with others.
(to be contd).
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