The knowledge acquiring, information, talks through personal experiences help for better understanding, I believe. I wanted to share my personal experience that how my attitude changed towards my daughter.
Things have changed and are changing for better.. The real cause behind the changes is just a simple change in
"attitude", though the environment around is the same. Couple of years back, I could see only the negative things to brood upon,(Actually i didnt have indentification of what is good or what is bad) had lots of complaints, until there was one day when I met my eye opener friend and he shared me lots of things that started to changed my view, my perceptions slowly. Instead of just feeling and being helpless and complaining, with his inspiration, I started to work on the things that I could "
identify" as problems.
I listed out the complaints I had about her.
My kid wasnot potty trained.
My kid wont listen to what I say
MY kid wont behave herself when we go out to malls
My kid wont do things that my friends kids would do.( thats a big blunder I realised).
Once I changed my attitude, the complaints became my HOMEWORKS to be done.
Later on I started to work on the things. It was just me and her, without any expectations of results, setting of timelimits.
I trained her for potty even if it took longer hours, more visits to the rest room. Initially she was too cranky to even try. It was common that I used to lose patience when she gets cranky.But now I am on a mission. I had to do the things that was beneficial for my daughter.
I tried to talk in her language, observing her moods and interests, and she responded.
I spent time with her first in the mall and we explored the aisles that she wanted, then we took turns, saying now its mommy's turn. She wud say okay.
Though I observe her delays, but these days theres less worries, because I have develeped the faith and confidence in working on the issues that needed to be addressed.
Talking with different parents who are my friends, sharing various approaches with each other, reading kids stuffs online was greatly helpful in real time.
A few things that I could understand are:
Every kid has different languages and different ways to understand. It is not necessary that the same way that worked for the elder kid or the neighbor kid to work for the other kid.
Its our responsibility to observe and identify their languages and communicate in the way that reach them.
Ever since I stopped comparing, things started to change. I was concentrating on her and her progress instead of what shes supposed to do by now. I was not able to see her progress and improvements, as I was thinking about age appropriate tasks. Some kids are slow, some kids are fast. but they will learn eventually.
If any parent in the world could GIVE SOMETHING REALLY WORTH TO THEIR KIDS IS "TIME".
Every kid is special and unique. I have learnt it now.
(pics from google)
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Thanks to my friend , who, with love and great care, always insisted on learning kids stuffs online or talk to other parents, insisted me about taking responsibility rather than sitting and complaining, made me REALIZE the joy of participating and contributing.
