Super-MOM

 A salute to super multi tasker moms, home makers, 24 x 7 x 365 days without holiday, without rest,without delay , persistently doing their job, effectively amazing super power they have, to build the home and kids. Thank you super mom. wonderful description by delia , heart touching...

A MOM'S LIFE 

by  Delia Ephron

Take your plate into the kitchen, please.
Take it downstairs when you go
Don't leave it there, take it upstairs.
Is that yours?
Don’t hit your brother.
I’m talking to you.
Just a minute, please, can’t you see I'm talking?
I said, don’t interrupt.
Did you brush your teeth?
What are you doing out of bed?
Go back to bed.
You can’t watch in the afternoon.
What do you mean, there’s nothing to do?
Go outside.
Read a book.
Turn it down.
Get off the phone.
What did you do with Mommy’s phone?
Tell your friend you’ll call her back.  Right now!
Take a jacket.
Take a sweater.
Take one anyone.
Someone left his shoes in front of the TV
Get the toys out of the hall.  Get the toys out of the bathtub.  Get the toys off the stairs.
Do you realize that could kill someone?
Hurry up.
Hurry up.  Everyone’s waiting.
I’ll count to ten and then we’re going without you.
Did you go the bathroom?
If you don’t go, you’re not going.
Why didn’t you go before you left?
Can you hold it?
What’s going on back there?
Stop it.
I don’t want to hear about it.
Stop it, or I’m taking you home right now.
That’s it.  We’re going home
Give me a kiss.
I need a hug.
Make your bed.
Clean up your room.
Set the table.
I need you to set the table.
Don’t tell me it’s not your turn.
Please move your chair in to the table.
Move your glass, it’s too close to the edge.
Sit up.
Just try a little.  You don’t have to eat the whole thing.
Stop playing and eat.
I’m not giving you mushrooms.  I’ve taken all the mushrooms out.  See?
Would you watch what you’re doing.
More what?
More, please.  That’s better.
How many times have a told you, don’t do that.
Don’t argue with me.  I’m not discussing this anymore.
Do you want a  time out?
Go to your room.
No, ten minutes are not up.
One more minute.
Where did the cookies go?
Eat the old fruit before you eat the new fruit.
Is your homework done?
Stop texting while I’m talking.
Stop texting while you eat.
Give me your phone.
Stop yelling.  If you want to ask me something, come here.
STOP YELLING.  IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME SOMETHING, COME HERE.
I’ll think about it.
Not now.
Ask your father.
We’ll see.
Don’t sit so close to the television, it’s bad for your eyes.
No more video games.
Until I say so.
Calm down.
Calm down and start over.
Is that the truth?
Fasten your seat belt.
Did everyone fasten their seat belts?
I’m sorry that’s the rule.  I’m sorry that’s the rule.  I’m sorry that’s the rule.

Copyright: All credit goes to Delia Ephron as read in chicken soup for the soul.

If there is light in the soul,

There will beauty in the person.

If there is beauty in the Person,

There will be harmony in the house,

if there is harmony in the house,

There will be order in the nation.

If there is order in the nation,

There will be peace in the world (जगत ).

chinese proverb.

Lets Begin to become a team mate

Basically every human being is slave of  individual ego, from months old kid to ninety old person have that individual ego, which makes every human a selfish person, thinks about self interest first rather to think about others, so that property makes human to make his own world around  which consists that self centeredness, any person who is in his territory that became his liking, and those who are against  are his opponents and dislikes, this infighting goes around in every individual, even in kids , only thing is that their conscious mind is not fully evolved to respond towards the opposition, so we call them ignorant, fact is that kids are only ignorant from their conscious mind .Remember every individual is a complete soul, so he has already pre-recorded notions, which he carries with him, birth to birth .Hence we cannot give our thoughts to anyone , what we can give is love. Every individual has their own set of thought process.
The question  is how to bring integrated feel among family members or between two individual souls.esp when we are talking about kids? their conscious mind is yet to evolve.? how to make learn kids to become a team player?
My practical solution is by making every one to meet at common purpose goal is to make them involve in a sport or a game with strategies  as well as with coordinating skills. Play a game on a specified date every month or at convenience  isn't it good idea? playing a sport or organising a small recreational activity will make kids to learn to become a team mate. we know it , but we are with full of excuses why and how we cant do, yes understand the difficulties of consensous and time constraints, but we have an intention and conviction we can certainly initiate. In the homes who dont play either games or not even dine together, its hard to find a coordination between the people. Hence we cant even infuse a common goal.
 Don't we remember our own school or college days when we feel so enthusiastic with school tasks and feel of togetherness and oneness towards the task and with other class mates ;Inspite of the fact that we get more love and care from  our own parents yet we drew towards outside; in most of our thoughts? why is that so!..In school every one has a common purpose so we begin to relate each other very easily, whereas at home esp when there is disharmony in the couple or parents it is very difficult that a kid find himself connect with home or ideas /thoughts spread at home.The solution which come to my mind is begin playing a game on fixed date whole family than slowly involve our neighbors  relatives or known person to make teams to make kids learn to become a team mate, which eventually in his own life make him learn lot of things.Age appropriate games could be easily chosen and a strong bond can be made within a family with a meaningful purpose.

Story about Sharing

Its happens everywhere!!Or We have heard/seen it many times. Kids fighting for the same toy or a thing. The toy will gain lots of importance when two or more kids meet up in the same place or even sometimes happen with siblings too, but otherwise the toys will be at rest. Its just a phase, which will eventually pass as they grow. But instead of leaving it to time, we can take some steps to make them understand about sharing in " their language". Languages differ for each kid. I dont mean the different languages like english, telugu, hindi etc, .
but the way of making them understand. Some mature kids will share on their own, some will share when ask them to, some wont understand or wont share even if they understand and so on.
Instead of leaving them in their own way or just forcing them to share, we can be with them, talk to them ,play with them and try to get the kids to share. It sometimes is harder than it appears. But its not impossible.
Sharing is a very important thing that we have to make the kids learn. It can be tough times for parents or even be embarassing when the kids dont listen them.
But its OUR kids, we are responsible for them, its our responsibility. Our love, our care, our affection and changing the ways to make them learn can certainly change the kids behaviour sooner or later.
We can take up some of the behavioural things and manners, each a week may be, and do some activities or some story times related to the same. Im just trying to implement it with my girl. One such story I found , that I wanted to share here.

 One day, two friends along with their parents, while walking along the road saw a nice rope lying by its side. Both wanted to have it and started to fight for it. They didnt listen to their parents advices and suggestions.
One held it from one end and the other from the other end. They started pulling the rope. Suddenly, the rope broke off from the middle.
One of them fell in mud and the other in a drain. Thier dresses were spoiled. They got hurt too.
A passenger by who was watching all this, went to them and said, " fighting for a thing always gives bad results." The friends felt ashamed of their deed. They appologised to their parents saying sorry and said they wont repeat the same.
Then they started to share with each other and played in turns and got rewards from their parents.
source( itsaperfectstory).
Its beautiful platform to share the experiences and learn great wonderful things which are so helpful for the parents in upbringing the kids. Thank u Diwakar ji. With your inspiration, motivation I could find things learn , try and share here.

Happy times .....

Happy times

To help you get through the more difficult times, and to put things in perspective, think about all the wonderful aspects of the toddler years. You could even write a list to refer to when tantrums and tears get you down.

You might include some of the following:

• Toddlers think parents are the greatest people in the world - as far as they're concerned, you're the centre of the universe, so make the most of it because it might not last for ever.

• Most toddlers cry a lot less than when they were babies.

• You should be getting a better night's rest as sleep patterns are established, although some sleep problems can persist during this time.

• You may have more time for yourself than you had when she was a baby
• With your toddler around, you have an endless supply of cuddles and affection.

• Her zest and enthusiasm for new discoveries can be infectious.

• Her perseverance, trying things over and over again, and her sheer determination to master new skills can be thrilling.

• Your toddler's love of silliness and laughter often allows you to be a child again.

• Her funny little sayings and expressions can be an endless source of delight.

( source BBC health)

Know How - to say NO to kids...

By the time you are seventeen years old, you have heard "No, you can't" an average of 150,000 times. You've heard "Yes, you can" about 5,000 times. That is thirty nos for every yes. That makes a POWERFUL belief of "I can't". These beliefs are thousands of times stronger than desires. So if you desire something like a new house or getting a new job it will not happen if your beliefs are "I can't". The beliefs win every time. explains assaraf.

It is your habit of thought ( your beliefs), not your desires that run your actions.96-98 percent of all your behaviours are automatic. This is why we set goals, but don't reach them. Setting them is a function of the conscious mind. Reaching them is a function of the non-conscious mind.

 If we seek solution;and wish that our kids should not repeat such mistakes we should know how?  Dr william and martha suggest some wonderful practical ways to say No to kids positively, so that their belief system wont be based on NOs and vain thoughts, grow much better environment, which is very much need of present day challenging environment.

18 Ways to Say No Positively

Dr William Sears and martha

"No" is a power-packed word, quick on the lips, easy to say. Your child will hear you use this word often, and you will hear it from your child as well. It's necessary for a parent to say "no" to a child so the child can later say "no" to himself. All children—and some adults—have difficulty delaying gratification. "I want it now" is a driving desire, especially in toddlers. Learning to accept "no" from someone else is a prelude to saying "no" to herself. What gets children (and adults) into trouble is a knee-jerk, impulsive reaction to a want, an immediate "yes" without taking time to run it through their internal sensor and consider the necessity of saying "no" to themselves. Here's how to use this negative little word to teach positive messages.

1. Strike a Balance
Too many no's and too many yeses cripple a child's self- discipline. It's important to achieve the right blend of yeses and no's in a child's environment. If you rarely say "no" to your child, the few times that you do he'll disintegrate because he's not used to being frustrated. If his whole day is full of "no's," the child believes the world is a negative place to be and will grow up a negative person. The real world will always be full of yeses and no's. In many homes, children soon learn who the yes parent is and who's more likely to say "no". Even the Ten Commandments has do's and don'ts.

2. No's Grow Too
The art of saying "no" develops along with your baby. During the first year, a baby's needs and wants are the same, so that you are mainly a "yes" parent. During the second year, baby's wants are not always safe or healthy, so you become a "yes" and "no" parent. From nine to fourteen months, no-saying is straight forward. We call them "low energy no's." Between fourteen and eighteen months, as babies click into overdrive, they get easily frustrated and are likely to protest being steered in a direction other than the one they want to go. This is when you will need both high energy no's and very creative alternatives. By eighteen months, no-saying can begin to be more matter-of-fact. Parents can begin to convey an attitude of "that's life and I'm confident you can deal with it." By two-years-of-age toddlers are experts at saying "no".

3. Use Creative Alternatives To "No"
one morning when she was eighteen- months-old our daughter Lauren, who was going through an impulsive phase, flitted around the house climbing and getting into everything. She was endangering herself and trashing the house. After the twentieth "no," I was tired of hearing that word and so was Lauren. on the wall in one of our children's bedrooms I noticed a poster of a kitten stuck out on a limb at the top of a tree. The caption read, "Lord, protect me from myself." I realized that Lauren needed rescuing from her impulsive self. She needed a change of environment. We spent the rest of the day outside. Parks and play-yards provide space and a "yes" environment in which to roam and climb. If you find yourself isolated with a curious toddler who is flitting from thing to thing with you chasing him around the house saying "no," consider changing to something more fun. Go outside; take along a book, plant yourself in a safe location, and let him run.
DISCIPLINE TIP
The fewer "no's," the better your day goes.

4. Teach Stop Signs
Even in the early months, teach baby to recognize body language that means "stop." Your baby needs to be exposed to "stop" body language long before hearing the "no" word. The first nip on your nipple during breastfeeding will invoke an "ouch" sign on your face; the first time your baby reaches for something dangerous, your face will register alarm. You are likely to get the best results from your stop signs if your baby has been used to positive body language, so that any change makes him sit up and take notice. Your "no's" will be more meaningful during toddlerhood if your baby sees a lot of "yes" body language: looks of pride and approval, gestures of delight and pleasure, eye-to-eye contact, hugs, tickles, and a sparkly face that says "I love you, you're great!"
We have noticed that attachment-parented children, because they spend hours a day in arms and in face-to-face contact, easily learn to read parents' faces and body language. Having lots of face-to- face contact in the early months makes face-to-face communication easier in the months and years to come. Some children are so impressed by body language that you can get your point across without even saying a word. An expressive mother of a connected two-year-old told us: "Usually all I have to do is glance at her with a slight frown on my face, and she stops misbehaving."

5. Teach Stop Sounds
Often a change in your mood or body language is not enough to redirect impulsive actions. Words are needed. Children soon learn which discipline words carry more power and demand a quicker response than others. And children soon learn which tone of voice means business and which allows for some latitude. Arm yourself with a variety of "stop-what-you're- doing" sounds so that you can choose one that fits the occasion. Tailor the intensity of the sound to the gravity of the behavior. Save the really big sounds for true danger.

6. Master "The Look"
You can often correct a child without saying a word. I have noticed that master disciplinarians use a look of disapproval that stops the behavior, but preserves the child's self-image. Martha, after disciplining eight children, has mastered "the look": head turned a bit, eyes penetrating, just the right facial gesture and tone of voice to convey to the child "I don't like what you're doing, but I still feel connected to you. I know that you know better." Remember, your eyes will disclose what you are really thinking and feeling. If you are feeling anger or contempt toward your child, that's what she will read in your eyes. If one or both of you recognize this is happening, you will have to apologize for the harshness of the feelings communicated toward her person by "the look." Be sure that stop signs and stop sounds stop the behavior and not the growth of self-worth in your child. Your child should understand that you disapprove of the behavior, not the child. To be certain you strike the right note in disapproval discipline, follow the look with a hug, a smile, or a forthright explanation, "I don't like what you did, but I like you."

7. Create Alternatives To The N-Word
Constantly saying "no" causes this word to lose its punch. Since stop sounds are used mainly to protect, try using more specific words that fit the situation. Consider this example: When a toddler is about to reach into the cat litter box your first reaction is to say "no," but follow it up with an explanation: "Dirty! Make you sick." Next time the child goes for the litter box (and he will do it again), instead of "no," say "Dirty! Make you sick." That and a disgusted expression on your face will help the child learn the why as well as the what of good behavior, and the litter box will lose its attraction. (We are assuming that the litter box is kept in a location well away from the toddler's beaten path. Litter, like sand, is irresistible to babies.) Babies start reaching for "no-nos" around six months.
Coincidentally, one day two-year-old Lauren came prancing into our study clutching a bag of peanuts. Instead of grabbing the peanuts from her and shouting "no" (they are on our chokable food list for children under three), Martha looked Lauren straight in the eyes and calmly said, "Not for Lauren." Her tone of voice and concerned look stopped Lauren in her tracks. Martha picked Lauren up (still clutching the peanuts) and headed off for the pantry where they found a safer snack. By using our standard "not for Lauren" phrase and giving her a safe alternative, she didn't have time to consider throwing a fit, which a "no" surely would have produced. In any family there will be items that are "not for" the little one. When you use this phrase calmly and consistently from early on the toddler understands you are protecting him.

"No" is so easy to say. It requires no thought. It's knee-jerk automatic, yet irritatingly oppressive. Saying "cannot" communicates more and you'll use it more thoughtfully (i.e. in situations where baby truly cannot proceed). You're respecting his mind as you protect his body. In our experience, babies respond to "stop" better than to "no." It gets the child's attention, and stops behavior long enough for you to plan other strategies. "Stop" is protective rather than punitive. "No" invites a clash of wills, but even strong-willed children will usually stop momentarily to evaluate a "stop" order, as if they sense danger ahead. Strong-minded children often ignore "no" if they've heard it a thousand times before. Even "stop" loses its command value if overused.

8. Use "The Voice"
Besides mastering "the look," reserve a special tone of voice for those occasions when you must get your point across. A veteran disciplinarian shared her secret with us: "I am an easy-going mommy, but my children know just by my tone of voice when they have crossed the line. one day our two-year-old was misbehaving and our four-year-old said, "Don't mess with Mommy when she talks like that!"

9. Give Positive Subs
Present a positive with your negative: "You can't have the knife, but you can have the ball." Use a convincing expression to market the "can do" in order to soften the "can't do." "You can't go across the street," you say with a matter-of-fact tone of voice; then carefully state, "You can help Mommy sweep the sidewalk." There is a bit of creative marketing in every mother.

10. Avoid Set-ups
If you're taking your child along with you to a toy store to buy a birthday present for your child's friend, realize that you are setting yourself up for a confrontation. Your child is likely to want to buy everything in the store. To avoid the inevitable "No, you can't have that toy," before you go into the store tell him that you are there to buy a birthday present and not a toy for him so that he is programmed not to expect a toy.

11. "No" Is a Child's Word, Too
Prepare yourself to be on the receiving end of "no." Your two-year-old has just run out the door. You ask her to come back. She yells "no!" Your first reaction is likely to be, "This little pip-squeak is not going to talk back to me that way. I'll show her who's boss..." (In our family, being disrespectful is a real "no-no.") Understanding what's behind that two-year-old and that two-letter word will help you accept this normal toddler behavior. Don't take "no" personally. Saying "no" is important for a child's development, and for establishing his identity as an individual. This is not defiance or a rejection of your authority. Some parents feel they cannot tolerate any "no's" at all from their children, thinking that to permit this would undermine their authority. They wind up curtailing an important process of self-emergence. Children have to experiment with where their mother leaves off and where they begin. Parents can learn to respect individual wishes and still stay in charge and maintain limits. As your child gets older, the ability to get along with peers in certain situations (stealing, cheating, drugs, and so on), will depend on her ability to say "no".
By eighteen months Lauren had surmised that "no" meant we wanted her to stop what she was doing. one day she was happily playing with water at the kitchen sink. As she saw me approaching, and in anticipation of me stopping her play, she blurted out an emphatic "No, Dad!" Lauren had staked out her territory, and she had concluded she had a right to do this. Her "no" meant she was guarding her space.

12. Use a Funny "No"
One afternoon I (Martha) walked into the TV room and saw Matthew and his friend watching a video that the older children had rented and watched the day before. (Later I found out Matthew had also watched it at that time.) I took one look at the movie and realized I would have to ask him to turn it off. Besides, it was the middle of the day and the boys should have been playing outside. As I stood watching the movie for a few moments planning my course of action, I caught the flavor of the character in the movie and in a spurt of inspiration decided to use humor to say no. As I clicked off the TV, I spun around on my heels and launched into a monologue using the character's facial expressions, accent, and hand gestures. I must have done a good job of impersonating this actor because both boys sat staring at me wide-eyed as though they couldn't believe their mom was capable of such improvised insanity. They both jumped up and headed out the door as the voice of this character told them to find something better to do. They were still laughing.

13. Personalize "No"
We are convinced Lauren is destined for public relations. Her "no, dad" was the diplomatic way to say no. By adding "dad" she personalized her message. Rather than giving a dictatorial "no," we add the child's name. If you tend to shout, a personalized address at least softens the sound and respects the listener. Some parents confuse respecting the child with granting him equal power, but this is not a power issue. The person with the power should respect the person taken charge of. That consideration holds true in parenting; it holds true in other relationships as well.

14. Have a "Yes" Day
Jill, mother of five-year-old Andrew, confided to me, "I don't like what's happening to me. I want to enjoy being a mother but our whole day is spent in conflict with each other. Andrew won't mind when I ask him to do even the simplest things. I'm becoming a cranky person, and I want to be a happy mother." I advised her, "Tell Andrew exactly what you want. Say 'I want to be a happy Mommy, not a cranky Mommy. (or ask Andrew 'Would you rather have a happy Mommy or a cranky Mommy?') To help me be a happy Mommy, we're going to have yes days. Every time I ask you to do something and you say 'yes Mommy,' I'm going to put a yes on the chart. At the end of the day if there are more yeses than no's, that's a yes day, and we'll do something special together.'" (or, let Andrew mark yes on his own chart.) Soon Andrew will realize that the happy Mommy is more fun to be with than the cranky Mommy, which will motivate him to continue having yes days.

15. Be Considerate
When you have to stop a behavior, there is no reason to be rude. For example, your baby discovers the tape dispenser someone left out. This is a wonderful toy. Instead of descending on him and snatching it from his hands, causing him to wail pitifully as you carry him off, you can take a few moments to explore it with him. Then you say "bye-bye" to the tape and hand him a decent length of the fascinating stuff to compensate for not getting the whole roll as you head off for a perhaps less interesting, but more age-appropriate activity.

16. When You Say It, Mean It
Follow through on your directives. For months we said to Lauren that in order to have bedtime stories she had to submit to toothbrushing. And for months it worked, sometimes easily, sometimes with a certain amount of coaxing and saying, "okay, no stories..." one night she decided to test me (Martha). I could tell by the set of her jaw and firmly shut lips that she finally was "calling my bluff." So rather than proceed with my coaxing and humoring, I calmly said "okay, no stories!" I turned off the lights and carried her to bed. She fussed a bit as I lay there with her, because she realized I had called her bluff and now the lights were out—the irreversible sign that the next step was to go to sleep. After that, toothbrushing went unchallenged and stories were reinstated.

17. Are You a Mother Who Can't Say No
In their zeal to give their children everything they need, some parents risk giving their children everything they want. Mothers who practice attachment parenting risk becoming totally "yes" mothers, with "no" being foreign to their parenting style.
It is important for the mother to feel comfortable saying 'no' to her little one from the very beginning. In fact, it begins when she teaches her newborn to latch on to the breast correctly. It is the mother's first discipline situation— to show baby how to latch on properly so that he can get fed sufficiently and she can avoid sore nipples. Some mothers cannot do this. They are afraid to be assertive for fear of causing baby to cry. They would rather let the baby do it wrong and put up with the pain. She will say 'no' early on when he yanks her hair or bites the breast while nursing. By telling him to stop because it hurts, she is beginning to teach boundaries. Serious no-saying comes with toddlerhood. Besides the literal word 'no' there are many ways to communicate that something is not safe or appropriate. Whether she says "stop that" or "put it down" or "not safe," or she physically redirects her toddler's activity, she is consistently and gently redirecting behavior and teaching boundaries. Whatever the terminology, saying 'no' is not a negative thing. It is a way of giving, and it takes a lot of effort. Mothers who can't say 'no' will have a big problem on their hands down the line. They become the moms that we see getting yanked around like puppets by their preschoolers.

When mothers begin saying 'no' at the appropriate times—confidently, firmly, and lovingly—It does not threaten the child. It might wrinkle him for a few minutes because he doesn't like hearing 'stop' or 'wait' or whatever the word might be that you pick.

18. When Your Child Won't Accept No
Children, especially those with a strong will, try to wear parents down. They are convinced they must have something or their world can't go on. They pester and badger until you say "yes" just to stop the wear and tear on your nerves. This is faulty discipline. If however, your child's request seems reasonable after careful listening, be willing to negotiate. Sometimes you may find it wise to change your mind after saying "no". While you want your child to believe your "no" means no, you also want your child to feel you are approachable and flexible. It helps to hold your "no" until you've heard your child out. If you sense your child is uncharacteristically crushed or angry at your "no," listen to her side. Maybe she has a point you hadn't considered or her request is a bigger deal to her than you imagined. Be open to reversing your decision, if warranted. Make sure, though, that she realizes it was not her "wear down" tactics that got the reversal of your decision.
Our daughter Erin seems destined to become a trial lawyer; she pleads her case with logic and emotion. Eventually, we learned to say "no" without discouraging Erin's creative persistence. When Erin wanted a horse, we said "no" (we had too many dependents already). Erin persisted. By trial and error we've learned that any big wish in a child, no matter how ridiculous, merits hearing the child's viewpoint. We listened attentively and empathetically while Erin presented her horse wish. We countered, "Erin, we understand why you want a horse. You could have a lot of fun riding and grooming a horse, and some of your friends have horses." (We wanted Erin to feel we understood her point of view). "But we have to say no; and we will not change our minds. Now let's sit down and calmly work this out." (Letting the child know her request is non-negotiable diffuses the child's steam and saves you from getting worn down.) "You are not yet ready to care for a horse." (We enumerated the responsibilities that went along with the fun of owning a horse.) "When you have finished another six months of lessons and you show us that you can be responsible for a horse, we'll talk about it then." Nine months later Tuffy was added to our list of dependents. Erin got her horse and she learned some valuable lessons in life: how to delay her gratification, and with privileges come responsibilities
source article: askdrsears

Saraswathi namastubhyam varade kamarupini ...

A good   prayer for  our Kutti kids  and also with Saraswati vandana...on Saraswati puja day .



 Saraswathi namastubhyam varade kamarupini |
Vidyarambham karishyami siddhir bhavatu me sada

O! Goddess Saraswati, I bow to you.. the one who fructifies all our desires
I begin my learning requesting you to make it fulfilling always

Sarasvati namastubhyam sarva devi namo namah 
Shantarupe shashidhare sarvayoge namo namah 

O! Goddess Saraswati, I bow to you.. O! Goddess of entire universe, I bow to you
O! Epitome of serenity, one who wears the moon, the one who bestows the powers of all yogas, I bow to you
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Nityanande niradhare nishkalayai namo namah |
Vidyadhare vishalakshi shuddhajnane namo namah

O! perpetually blissful one, who needs no proof, who has no characteristics, I bow to you
who is wise and possesses divine vision, one who is the purest embodiment of knowledge, I bow to you

Shuddha sphatika rupayai sukshmarupe namo namah |
Shabdabrahmi chaturhaste sarva siddhayai namo namah

O! the one who is as pure as a crystal, present in a subtle form, I bow to you
O! the one who is the most ancient sound, the one with four hands, the one who makes perfect all beings, I bow to you

Mukt-alankrita sarvangyai muladhare namo namah |
Mulamantra svarupayai mula shaktyai namo namah

O! the one who adorns the path to enlightenment, the one who contains all the vedas, the one who is the basis of all powers, I bow to you
O! the one who is the embodiment of the root mantra (OM), the one who is the source of power in all, I bow to you


(source you tube)

                                      

Practical Suggestions to Understand and Prevent Misbehavior in Children

I have read some excellent article on parenting and some useful tips by  ,Dr Ajith D' Souza
Principal, Mahesh PU College , Karnataka, India (Hassan Area, India) hope you will also like and benefit from it. here it is..


Practical Suggestions to Understand and Prevent Misbehavior in Children

By Prof Ajith D'Souza & Prof Renita D'Souza

Effective parenting is often challenged by misbehavior of children. Understanding why children misbehave is important to respond effectively. 

Children misbehave when they:

•     are sleepy, sick, need fresh air, exercise and food,

•     are puzzled or unsure about what is expected of them,

•     need attention and love, or need to feel secure,

•     want to fulfill their curiosity,

•     are not physically and mentally ready or able to follow the rules,

•     are bored,

•     are angry, disappointed and frustrated, and

•    want to assert independence.

Strategies and techniques to prevent a child's misbehavior are as under:

•     Set rules that are age-appropriate, then help the child to understand the rule and why it is important


Suggestions for Positive Parenting

Positive parenting is the loving and supportive care provided by both parents. The parenting role has shifting its paradigm from fear-based to love-based. Positive parenting also can be termed 'conscious parenting', or always seeking the betterment of children in the long run. To achieve the goal of treating or rearing children in a way so that today's children can be tomor­row's healthy and successful adults, key issues involved are as follows:

—     The happiness and harmony between father and mother are important prerequisites for a physically fit and mentally happy child.

—    Maintaining harmony between parents and children is essential for positive parenting.

—     Children should be allowed to explore and do things themselves to enhance their self-esteem, so that they might experience a happy, gratifying, and purposeful life.

—     The parents' own behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, and values affect greatly the child's development. Hence, parents need to recognize their own belief system and how it can impact on the lives of their children. Further, they should attempt to keep in tune with the changing times.

—    Children need unconditional love and support from their parents for healthy development. Rationalizing, reasoning, giving adequate time, and answering questions are essential on the part of parents. These childrearing practices promote the same future behaviors in their children.

—    Support children emotionally at times when they need it most, so that they do not feel let down or alone. It seems likely that a child who feels emotionally isolated senses a breach of faith and trust on the part of the parents.

—    Accept each child as an individual with his or her unique gifts and talents. Each child is different; hence comparison with others is unwarranted.

—    Positive requests to children, without forcing them to do something, work wonders.

—    Showing positive feelings and appreciation for even the small work done by the child will encourage the devel­opment of confidence and a secure self-concept (i.e., "I feel good about myself and about my abilities").

—    Listen carefully to your children and provide support and guidance.

—    The relationship of parents with other members of family, relatives, and neighbors affects the general environment to which children are exposed.

—    Parent education, in terms of learning and practicing good parenting skills to rear and manage today's children, is essential. Modern-day children are more world-wise, having been exposed to many more situations than their parents, which may lead to a feeling of incompetence and helplessness on the part of the parents to manage their children.

Complete article can be read at role-of-parents-in-upbringing-children

Bed time stories -11

The Rabbits and the Elephants

suitable to kids above age 7 or they should relate to the animals.

This is another nice story from the Hitopadesha collection. Once upon a time, there lived a herd of Elephants in a forest. A mighty Elephant by the name of Chaturdanta was their king. There was a big lake in the middle of the forest where all the animals used to go to drink water and to take a bath.

 Once it so happened, that there was no rain for the whole year and the lake dried up. Many of the birds and the animals died of thirst. The Elephants got worried that if they didn't get water soon many of them would die of thirst.

The Elephants decided to take the matter to their king, Chaturdanta. So they approached their king and said, “You Majesty, as you know there is no water in our forest, many of the birds and animals have died due to thirst. We require water in order to survive. If we will stay here soon many of us will die. We have to find out water as soon as possible”. The King Elephant considered the idea and asked the Elephants to go in different directions to find water. Fortunately, one of them found a large lake full of water in another jungle far away.

The King Elephant got happy to hear this news. He ordered all his followers to make their way towards the lake. This lake was full of water and never went dry even if it didn't rain. On the way to this lake, there was a settlement of Rabbits. The Elephants had to pass through this settlement of Rabbits. Thousands of Rabbit got crushed under the heavy feet of the Elephants and many of them got wounded. The Rabbits fled in terror. The situation was getting severe, so the King of the Rabbits called up a meeting.

In the meeting, the King said,” A herd of Elephants is passing through our area. They have killed thousands of our friends. We are in a critical need to avoid more deaths. I want all of you to think of a way to save our race”. All the Rabbits underwent a thought process. Suddenly, a little Rabbit derived a plan and said to the King, “Your Majesty, if you will send me as your messenger to the King of the Elephants, I might find a solution to this problem”. The Rabbit King gave his approval to the idea. The little Rabbit rushed towards the lake.

When he saw the herd of Elephants returning from the lake, he realized that it was impossible to get near to them. Then he thought that how could he talk to the King of Elephants. Thus, he climbed up a hill and shouted, “O, King of the Elephants. Please listen to me”. On hearing the Rabbit’s voice, Chaturdanta stopped for a while and replied,” Who are you? From where have you come?” The smart Rabbit answered, “I am a messenger sent to you by the Moon God”. The King of the Elephants said, “Why you have come here?”
The Rabbit replied, “Moon God has sent a message for you. A messenger speaks only truth. Please consider that a messenger is never punished for what he has to say. He is only doing his job so you must not be angry with me”. Chaturdanta confirmed him that he won't be harmed in any way. The little Rabbit said, “The Moon God is angry with you because you have brought your herd to his holy lake and have disturbed the peace. You have crushed thousands of Rabbits to death on the way to lake. Rabbits are under the special protection of Moon God. Since you have bothered the Moon God and his special creatures, he is extremely annoyed with you and wants you to leave his kingdom at once. If not, then you might face terrible consequences”.
The King Elephant was scared to hear this message from the Moon God. He said, “You are right. We have killed many rabbits on our way to the lake. But really that was done in ignorance. I will see that you do not suffer anymore. I want to request the Moon God to pardon me for my sins. Please advise me what I should do”. The Rabbit replied, “Ok. I will take you to the Moon God. Pay your homage to the God and ask him to forgive you for the crime you have committed. Come with me”. 

At night, the Rabbit led the King of Elephants to the lake. Both, the Rabbit and the Elephant stood near the bank of the lake. There they saw the reflected image of the Moon in the still water. Just then, a mild breeze blew disturbing the waters of the lake and the moon seemed to move to and fro. When Chaturdanta saw this, he thought that the Moon God was really angry with him. He bowed to the Moon God in panic. The Rabbit said, “Oh Moon God, The King of Elephants has done a sin in ignorance. Please forgive him. He is taking away his herd from here and promising never to come back”.

Frightened Chaturdanta bowed once again to the Moon God and left the place with his herd immediately. And the Rabbits lived happily in their settlement ever after.

Moral: Wit can win over might.

Source : hitopadesha

Bed time stories - 10

Big Sheep  & Small Sheep 

Story Copyright by Alan S.L. Wong

Once upon a time, there were two sheep. One was a small sheep ... so small (separate hands to show size). It has a soft voice ... baa! The other was a big sheep ... so big (stretch arms to show size). It has a loud voice ... BAA! The two sheep are brothers.

Every day, Big Sheep and Small Sheep would go out to the fields to play together and to look for grass to eat. One morning, as always, the two sheep went out. Big Sheep and Small Sheep gamboled out to the fields to look for grass to eat ... (Get the children to gambol together "to the fields.") Now it has not been raining for many days and most of the grass had dried up.

Big Sheep and Small Sheep gamboled for a long time but they could not find any green grass to eat. They were getting tired. Their feet were tired and they could no longer gambol. So they walked ... (Get the children to drag their feet on the ground.) Big Sheep and Small Sheep walked and walked from morning until afternoon but there were no green grass. As far as they could see all the green grass had become brown.

The sun was getting hotter. Big Sheep and Small Sheep were tired, hungry and thirsty ... (Get the children to stick out their tongues and pant.) But Big Sheep and Small Sheep continued walking and soon they came to a river. They lowered their heads and lapped up some water with their tongue ... (demonstrate how this is done).

When Big Sheep lifted his head, he saw a small green patch under a tree. He gamboled over to the tree. It was a patch of green grass. "BAA, BAA!" he shouted to Small Sheep to come over. Both Big Sheep and Small Sheep were very excited. But the small patch of grass was a very small patch ... it was just enough for one sheep. What should they do? (Pause) Who should eat the small batch of green grass? (Pause) "BAA, BAA! Go ahead and eat it. I am not very hungry" said Big Sheep and he began to move away. "Baa! Let us share the green grass" said Small Sheep. So Big Sheep and Small Sheep shared the small patch of small grass. They were very happy and they gamboled all the way home ... (Get the children to hold hands and gambol "all the way home.")

Big Sheep found the green grass and he could have eaten the grass all by himself. But Big Sheep was generous to let Small Sheep eat the small patch of green grass. Small Sheep was also sharing ... he shared the green grass with Big Sheep. Small Sheep loves Big Sheep and Big Sheep loves Small Sheep. 

All the credit goes to the writter, story source: stories for next generation

Bed time stories - 9

Our Protector

The big bad wolf went and called his other wolf friends to help. So a whole pack of three wolves came and pounced upon Big Sheep and Small Sheep. Big Sheep and Small Sheep tried to fight with the wolves but there were too many of them. "Run and get help" shouted Big Sheep to Small Sheep. Small Sheep ran toward home as fast as he could.

Meanwhile, the Shepherd heard the noises. When he saw Small Sheep running back alone without Big Sheep, he knew something was wrong. He picked up his rod and ran towards Small Sheep. He saw the three wolves attacking Big Sheep. He used his rod to hit the wolves and chased them away.

Both Big Sheep and Small Sheep were hurt. The Shepherd picked up Big Sheep and lifted him up to his shoulders then he carried Small Sheep in his arms. He brought them home and put medicine on their wounds. The Shepherd took good care of Big Sheep and Small Sheep.

Whenever Big Sheep and Small Sheep have troubles, the Shepherd is always there to help them. Lord is our Shepherd and He will always take care of us.

Alan S.L. Wong

Bed time stories - 8

The Fox and the Grapes - Moral Story

One day, a fox was walking through the forest. On his way, he found bunch of grapes hanging from a branch of a tall tree. His mouth started watering. He had never had grapes for a very long time.


The fox jumped a little to catch hold of a bunch of grapes. Since the grapes were hanging from a tall branch, the fox couldn't catch hold of it. He tried again to catch a bunch, but again he couldn't do that. He tried few more times, but every time he didn't succeed.

Finally, the fox gave up his attempts and he thought to himself, "These grapes should be very sour". ahahaa..

MORAL : Many people despise at what they cannot have.

Bed time stories -7

THE ELEPHANT AND THE DOG

Jataka tale

Once upon a time a Dog used to go into the stable where the king's Elephant lived. At first the Dog went there to get the food that was left after the Elephant had finished eating. Day after day the Dog went to the stable, waiting around for bits to eat. But by and by the Elephant and the Dog came to be great friends. Then the Elephant began to share his food with the Dog, and they ate together. When the Elephant slept, his friend the Dog slept beside him. When the Elephant felt like playing, he would catch the Dog in his trunk and swing him to and fro. Neither the Dog nor the Elephant was quite happy unless the other was nearby.

One day a farmer saw the Dog and said to the Elephant-keeper: "I will buy that Dog. He looks good-tempered, and I see that he is smart. How much do you want for the Dog?" The Elephant-keeper did not care for the Dog, and he did want some money just then. So he asked a fair price, and the fanner paid it and took the Dog away to the country.

The king's Elephant missed the Dog and did not care to eat when his friend was not there to share the food. When the time came for the Elephant to bathe, he would not bathe. The next day again the Elephant would not eat, and he would not bathe. The third day, when the Elephant would neither eat nor bathe, the king was told about it.

The king sent for his chief servant, saying, "Go to the stable and find out why the Elephant is acting in this way." The chief servant went to the stable and looked the Elephant all over. Then he said to the Elephant-keeper: "There seems to be nothing the matter with this Elephant's body, but why does he look so sad? Has he lost a playmate?" "Yes," said the keeper, "there was a Dog who ate and slept and played with the Elephant. The Dog went away three days ago." "Do you know where the Dog is now?" asked the chief servant. "No, I do not," said the keeper.

Then the chief servant went back to the king and said, "The Elephant is not sick, but he is lonely without his friend, the Dog." "Where is the Dog?" asked the king. "A farmer took him away, so the Elephant-keeper says," said the chief servant. "No one knows where the farmer lives." "Very well," said the king. "I will send word all over the country, asking the man who bought this Dog to turn him loose. I will give him back as much as he paid for the Dog."

When the farmer who had bought the Dog heard this, he turned him loose. The Dog ran back as fast as ever he could go to the Elephant's stable. The Elephant was so glad to see the Dog that he picked him up with his trunk and put him on his head. Then he put him down again. When the Elephant-keeper brought food, the Elephant watched the Dog as he ate, and then took his own food.

All the rest of their lives the Elephant and the Dog lived together.

Bed time Stories - 6

Thirsty Crow 

It was a hot sunny day. A crow was very thirsty. He was searching for water everywhere. He could not find it for a long time.

At last he saw a pot below a tree. He flew straight down to check whether water is there in the pot. Poor crow could see only very little water in the pot. He tried putting it's beak inside the pot but he couldn't drink the little water that was inside the pot.

The crow was very clever and thought of a idea. He picked some pebbles around and dropped them into the pot one by one. The level of the water kept rising as more and more pebbles were put into the pot. Soon the water level was high enough for him to drink.


He drank the water and flew away happily.

MORAL : If there is a will, there is a way.
Story is suitable for kids age above age 6

CHILD DEVELOPMENT

In continuation with  the last blog i would like to share some more information regarding childs development.

Which aspect of child development is more important?

All aspects of child development are equally important. A child who is groomed with respect to all aspects of development does not require personality development courses  afterwards. Most of the parents are unaware of child brain development and growth pattern. 

People bothered little about overall development of a child. Importance is more given to physical and intellectual development (learning concepts and fundamentals of reading, writing and arithmetic) only, rest all other aspects are left to time to develop. Parents  preferred spending huge amounts of  money for personality development during teenage rather then sending them to a good pre - primary school during pre - primary age. Which is the right  time. As i said previously, the brain development in child takes place very fast during childhood(0-6yrs).This is the age when a child's brain works as an antenna and receives every thing, exposed to the child.

In this current generation scenario in India, because of  privatization, globalization and migration of people the challenges are very high. Which demands and emphasizes on other talents also. Ex: fast and brief communication,  time management etc.we can say that for getting qualified in a job requires marks or ranks and to sustain that job i.e., getting promotions  in that job depends upon peer group interactions, managing relations with the management , keeping ourselves  abreast with  new generation, showcasing creative talents etc. Which generates in a child through  the other  developmental aspects such as social ,emotional, moral aspects.

I would like to share social and emotional developmental aspects first.

Social development:  Fostering  Social development in a child   means teaching them  mannerisms(way  of behaving with others), cooperation, sharing, teaching  them  to wait for there turn, teaching them to learn,taking responsibility/care of there belongings and others belongings also.

Activities:

 It can be implemented  through   group games, group activities like stage shows, group collage works, festival celebrations, field trips, picnics, class parties, birthday parties etc. with the peer group. Participation by the child in above all activities,without reluctance, is more important than winning the game.

Emotional development/Emotional maturity: A child who does not get love, feels irritated and unhappy, which leads to various emotional imbalances.A child requires security and discipline.

 A child is emotionally  matured if he/she should be helped/trained in expressing, understanding, accepting and controlling his/her negative emotions like fear, anger ,jealousy, worry, anxiety, grief and develop positive emotions like building self confidence, self control, tolerating frustrations, overcoming inhibitions,which in turn develops concentration. An emotionally well balanced child can lead a successful  life.

Activities:

A child can be  emotionally matured if child gets sufficient affection and appriciation from parents. Children can develop self-control by listening to stories sitting still. Role play’s teaches child   to display  there emotions. Role plays should be intelligently  selected from the short moral stories or from mythological stories, as they build the character of the child.

One such story which is simple and practical to be  understandable  for a  pre primary child, is a story of a puppet Teddy. This story depicts a daily life of a nursery child with all practical instances and common emotions  (happy , cry, angry, frightened)which a child encounters in his own daily life.

                                     TEDDY the baby bear

In the morning the sun came out with broad smile and the rays of sun fall upon Teddy the baby bear. The Teddy woke up “Happily” as the morning alarm also rang. He got ready for school. Mama  bear gave him fruits and milk  for the breakfast. Teddy “cried” as he  wanted to eat chocolates,biscuits,cake and chips for his breakfast. Mama bear  got “angry”  on Teddy for his demand of junkfood. She promised Teddy for biscuits in the evening. Teddy became “Happy” and he ate full plate of fruits and drank full big glass of milk. Mama bear  and Teddy started to school by walk. On there way they met a big furious dog, who started barking on both of them “bow”,”bow”,”bow”. Mama bear and Teddy got “frightened” and started screaming for help. Soon Tiger uncle came and shooed off the dog. They both thanked Tiger uncle and soon reached school. Teddy enjoyed  at school. After coming home mama bear gave Teddy biscuits to eat. Teddy is now really “Happy”.

After listening to this story , the child can  be asked for dramatization.

Learning outcomes from the story are:

1.     A child has to wake up early in the morning.

2.     child has to go to school.

3.     Nutritious breakfast is compulsory.

And many more...........

Bed time stroies - 5

The crows and the serpent

Once upon a time there used to live a crow  partner couples, who had built a nice nest with hard efforts on the top of a tree. But coincidence that tree was home of a big Nag snake at its bottom. So the Big nag snake used to crawl up the tree to the nest and eat all the eggs that the lady crow used to lay every time. The crow couple were sad deeply and when this become habit of the snake, time after time, then they decided that the Nag snake was to be get rid of by a strategy.


So the crow couple went to their friend the jackal and asked for a plan. The jackal then told them to go and theft a costly thing from the palace of the king and throw that thing in the burrow of the snake down below of the tree. The crow went to palace, and stole a necklace of the queen while she was bathing. The guards of the palace ran after it. The crow then dropped the necklace into the burrow of the Nag snake under the tree.


The guards on reaching the bottom of the tree, found the necklace guarded by the nag snake. Then they killed the Nag snake and recovered the necklace. than after the crow family was  happy  for ever ;that their eggs were safe and babies could be hatched there after.


MORAL: Wit can achieve anything ;vEven if we are feeble , we can win with the use of mind(knowledge) to beat a mighty powerful than us

Real happiness comes from keeping Quiet....

I found nice video with nice message in the end..It is useful not only kids,But Big kid  like me.. enjoy..This is absolutely for me..

Bedtime stories - 4

The Little Red Hen

 
The little Red Hen was in the farmyard with her chickens, when she found a grain of wheat.

"Who will plant this wheat?" she said.

"Not I," said the Goose.

"Not I," said the Duck.

"I will, then," said the little Red Hen, and she planted the grain of wheat.

When the wheat was ripe she said, "Who will take this wheat to the mill?"

"Not I," said the Goose.

"Not I," said the Duck.

"I will, then," said the little Red Hen, and she took the wheat to the mill.

When she brought the flour home she said, "Who will make some bread with this flour?"

"Not I," said the Goose.

"Not I," said the Duck.

"I will, then," said the little Red Hen.

When the bread was baked, she said, "Who will eat this bread?"

"I will," said the Goose

"I will," said the Duck

"No, you won't," said the little Red Hen. "I shall eat it myself.  Cluck! cluck!"  And she called her chickens to help her, and they had nice meal.

Morale: If you don't contribute yourself, you cant have the pie

Quotes

 

 I collected a few quotes about kids and parenting that i enjoyed and related to my experiences as a kid and as a parent. Here I share the same with you all.

* Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

* You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had. ― Marshall B. Rosenberg

* It is better to bind your children to you by a feeling of respect and by gentleness than by fear. - Terence

* To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. - Anonymous

* The best gift and investment you can give your child is your time. -Kevin Heath

* My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Budinton Kelland

* Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them. -Lady Bird Johnson

* You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. -Polish Proverb

* Your children need your presence more than your presents. -Jesse Jackson

* Parentage is a very important profession, but no test of fitness for it is ever imposed in the interest of the children.- George Bernard Shaw.

* Stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him. -Dr. Henker

Project: How to make paper at home

I got an idea like a flash reading the comments, why it is not right time to initiate ourselves in engaging into action projects to the children, a kind of activity which can be creative as well as fun.

The first thought came to my mind is toddlers love paper, either they tear them or write them or make crazy things so why not we tell them how that paper is made. and a way to recycling.

there is lovely video here to share learn and make paper at home./How-to-Make-Paper-With-Kids.

we can make lots of shape with the paper, and make beautiful craft, that way we can explain to the kids how grandfathers make paper mache..

we can also find lots of projects there to make involve kids one can also open doors to their own creative thinking to make variations. Action is word to make ourselves transform along with kids..am i right?

So how about the having an appointment with CREATIVE HOLIDAYS with kids..rather to have catfights.(kidding)

Mousie, The mouse

Once upon a time there was a small mouse, named Mousie. He was ambitious to have big things and wanted to be a hero amongst his friends.
He didnt know what to do to achieve his goal. He always was a good mouse, obeying his parents. But one day he got a bad idea in his head.
He thought that he would lie to his friends about something that he did and make them believe that he was a hero. So he said, he could outrun any cat.
He said he is so proud that he had done lot of times. His friends were so surprised and praised Mousie. Mousie felt so happy. They couldnot even imagine to encounter a big cat let alone try to outrun.
Soon Mousie became popular because of his heroic act. But God, wanted to teach him a lesson. When mousie was walking by, he saw a big cat crossing him. His friends said, " Hey mousie come on show us ur power".
Shocked Mousie tried to run but out of fear he slipped and fell on the ground No sooner did he fall, the cat sprung on him.Mousie felt sorry for his lie and pleaded God to save him. The merciful God wanted to save Mousie.
There, a big branch from a tree fell upon the cat's head. The cat was seeing stars and let go off Mousie.
His friends immediately held him and ran a few feet away from the cat. If his friends had not done that, Mousie would have not been alive.
Mousie heartily thanked God and his friends and said, " Im sorry for my lie. you have saved my life. I will be grateful to you all".
He said he lied because he wanted to be popular. But it ended up in such a crucial happening. His friends told Mousie that they all always loved him and he is always great and asked Mousie not to lie again.
Mousie never forgot this incident and kept in mind that he should always speak the truth. He grew up being true and his life was so much better and happier when he simply told the truth.
God and Mousie's parents were happy with him.

Moral of the story:
Always speak the truth. Never lie.